Renounce

[I spilled some of me in this poem. Some of the moment.]

Once, I gave my all.

And now they leave me empty.

Not whole, not even an ounce.

All I called mine, drifts away,

And I say I renounce!

...And in this infatuating darkness

of the evanescent moonlight,

I celebrate the birth of light

with the birthpangs of an uncertain dawn.

At this moment

when all ceases to be,

I celebrate my non-existence.

I sing a song.

A song of the midnight sun.

...Still

A faded out meaning

of the ineffable,

still lingers, languidly

in the hollow word,

of language and its translated beauty.

The lost cadence,

of cosmic indulgence,

still slumbers its rhythm

in the echoing depth,

of a man’s consciousness.

The song of eternity,

of infinite life,

though smothered into a groping lullaby,

still renders its remnants,

to the seeking palm

of the hesitant man.

A vague cry

from deep within a man’s chest,

still seeks its echo

in the ancient hallway

of a life-less wisdom,

but alive-

with a fragile vulnerability

of a creator’s pulse.

Cosmic me

in this futility

of the spasms of existence,

some cobwebs,

still unstirred,

support this life of mine,

in their indelible words

of a forgotten wisdom.

the aum-kaar

that spur as the first voice,

of the created universe,

still echoes in my veins,

and arrives in the pupil of my eyes,

as the secret of my being.

in the constant chaos,

of this holocaust that my innerworld is,

as some shooting debris,

my emotions evolve,

and stamp their thunder,

as the pugmarks on the moon.

and the scattering stardust

is the ashes of my long lost

sputtered incarnations

heaving softly,

each time the creator breathes….

Dawn

Light reveals the one,
in its manifold wonders,
in its magnificent hues.

The infatuating darkness,
wraps the various,
in its complete uniformity,
in the infinite surrounding.

The dawn,
with the fusion of two,
gathers faith from its womb,
and manifests the hope,
of one complete wisdom,
unscarred by the
shallowness of knowledge,
illumined by the being of
unattributed purity,
a speechless cadence
of unmeaning words…
in the inkless canvas
of unassumed abstraction…
concretely stamping the thump
…of climactic culmination.



13 Dec 08

of birth and death...

Of birth and death,

life is but a cross-fade.

A tinge of meaning,

painted to the trembles of my tendrils

as the soul of each encaptured emotion.

The aumkara of the first voice of the universe,

fumes up in my crevices.

With the smoke of ashes,

the wisdom of soul

smothers my ambience.

In the receding mist

of the unscribbled unclarity,

as I open my eyes-,

flown with the wind,

I find me gone…

I take birth,

in each bubble of fatality.

And I die in the sublimation,

of each vibration of music…

of every birth and death,

life is but a cross-fade.

Tryst with night

I immerse myself
in the deathliness of the night,
touch her bruised heart,
become one with her grief.

And she expresses me,
in the anguish,
of the incompleteness of her oceans.
...And awash with a holy sorrow,
in the profundity of her dewdrops.

...

I wait for the moonlight,

with the half-heartedness

of an eclipsed sun.

Twilight

a subdued silence,

stretched over the corners of the universe,

a silent cry,

of some uninitiated imagination…

with the glee

of moonful sky,

and the pain

of the slowly setting sun

the twilight collects the hidden glamour

of the painful atmosphere

and flashes its monotony

in the ghostly barks of obscured trees.

here I lie,

waiting,

for the night to come-

a wept out painting,

of some halfhearted insomniac.

buried,

in the gaze of stars,

I wish,

the cosmos to fall in itself,

and give birth, to another death,

for yet another creation…

huh..and I endlessly dream of the dawn,

to spark an inkling of its meaning,

in this wreck of an

overwhelming twilight,

which might burst anytime,

like the lump in the throat,

of a silently suffering, ageless woman…

11-May-09

Redeem me

You've gone away...
and with your wind,
you've taken the life out of me.

My poems are mere relics...
my breath is mere air...

Breath some life into me,
o faraway star...lead my way.
I'm lost in myself,
and i spill out
as my own expressions.
I pile myself up on these limbs,
and exist.

Enlighten me, my star...
Make me that laughter...
Unconditional,
uncorrupted...
Which rings loudly
through the deathly silence
of an abysmal life.

You

Your eyes,

are the eternity's expression of its absoluteness,
The culmination of life's chaos,

in one final silence of the unexpressed.
You are a pure consciousness.
An abstract cognition.
A transcendence of mortality.
Death in its essence.

random musings

the hallucinated image

of a wholesome

darkness.

flashing its incandescence,

in the eyes of its unknown ghost

my eyes,

groping for an inkling if its reflection

squirt from here and there…

and rest on the banks,

of a glittering afterthought.

...its only me

and this unfathomable I.

And our eternal hide-and-seek.

...

a half-bloomed flower,

washed away moon.

weary night.

and a completed me.

An ode to life

On the crude pages of the flirting life,

lie some thumbprints

of a moment's poetry.

In the indulgence of this breath,

are breathed,

some sublime clouds of beyond-life.

Somewhere in the girth

of this incidental existence,

lies a pearl

of perfect anonymity,

that smears its manifestations

in the misty catacombs of abstraction.

and in the definite heart-throb of the concrete.

And thus,

my being is thrilled,

with the joy

that erupts in the birth of creation...

When the diligence of craft,

meets the spontaneity of art...

Insight

Into

some scattered breaths

of bygone moments…

Into

The abyss of broken imagination.

I delve myself,

and drown in their fantasy.

What is real?

And what unreal?

I cross the boundaries of existence

And realize, that there were none.

In the flow of wanton life,

I gather the deathliness of it all.

and the oncoming darkness,

brings with it,

The joy of non-existence,

or the existence of joyless ecstasy?

Guide me….O lord….

to that place,

where I shall close my eyes,

……and see.

A rendezvous with repentance

The night

Spilled a thousand scars,

Bathed in its moonlight

Of indifferent repentance.

Wept its heart out

In the broken song

Of the fluttering night-crickets.

Poured out its grand sorrow

In the wisdom-sparks of its stars.

Flaunted its agony

In the flamboyance of the ocean.

It had its moment of glory,

A rendezvous with repentance…

When I was fast asleep

In a dreamless sleep.

And now,

As I wake up,

Why do I feel

That the morning light today

Is peeping stealthily,

Like the subtle silence

Of a half-hearted poem

Aware of its beauty,

But Unaware of its own delight.

Aware of its grandeur,

But unaware of its painful roots….

A cry from within

Some joy,

Unrecognised,

Is blessing..

A sorrow,

Beyond recognition,

Is bliss.

In the crudeness,

of these creases of reality,

A fabric uncertain…

I spur,

along with each moment.

and die silently, with the demise of each

Engrossed my being,

with the elements of universe,

In their profound chaos,

I nurture creation,

and sprout along,

in the space

between two heartbeats.

I live in that cave,

in the ocean bed…

and my each pulsating vibration,

expresses these waves,

with their multifariousness.

Each moment,

a crystal,

I paint,

in this play of eternity

and I let the eternity fade,

in the forever play of my moments.

O my lord,

absorb me,

in my own self,

and express my destruction,

in each music beat of your universe….

Naadbrahma.

random

and casting aside,

all the cobwebs of reality,

i delve into the unreality

of my illusive dreams,

and take refuge there...

...until the sun breaks again...

throwing a glimmering light of reason,

spilling nothing but darkness......

I and Me

I seek that,
which I dont find.
I heed not,
what I already have.

I am possessed by
unreachable obscurities,
while I dont let my own
belongings express me
in their wanton beauty.

Wanton....as much as my breath.
And as much vital.

I dress myself in varied attires,
woven with a dispossessed charm,
wander across uncertain paths.

In the vanity of my empty froth,
I forget the substance I am.
And in the ego of my own little self...
I forget the universe I am.

Awaiting...

The entire expanse-leaf of ether, thrilled,

with one dewdrop of eternity.

The sunlight of infinite life,

finds its refuge,

in the recluse

of one teardrop of timelessness.

And thus pass

eons of time,

as the birth-pangs,

seeking the ineffables,

for one truthful moment of absolution.

You

…and drenched in the incompleteness

of my own cognitions,

its you that I’m overwhelmed with.

and overdone with my own

random musings in this indelible ink,

I am left with the same incompleteness that is you..

you are a hollowness that isn’t….

and you are a fullness that is all…

Ambience

a stuttering silence,

and some doubtful words.

a voice,

congruent with the wind’s whisper.

a protruding me,

from my own chest,

A crossroad

of confusion.

a succumbed seduction

of a faraway familiarity.

and a dislocated fluttering thought,

floating in the night’s darkness.

Some snowflakes,

a cold indifference.

a gift of an unimagined tear,

in this festival of pathos.

Even I lie,

in there….somewhere.

In this wilderness,

a mere camouflage.

Spread your palm

Spread your palm
and place me on it,
softly like a dew-drop.
Close your fist
and your eyes
and feel me transpire.
Caress me in your dreams.
Shudder your being,
and destroy me in yourself.
Open your fist
and your eyes
and find me gone,
in faraway lands.
Spread my ashes in corners of earth
like a spirit
of forgotten ages.
Still feel me in your veins
and see my face in the wetness
on your palm,
in the glistening tranquillity.
And in the purity therein,
my soul, reflected.

Lost

Hey…

I am lost

In these alleys

Of obscurity.

huge enough

To suck me in.

Small enough

To abandon me.

My heart is trembling,

Like a morning leaf

Wet,

With a slight touch of insecurity.

Why does life

Present its wholeness

With a mystical mystery?

Like some ancient corridors,

Lit enough,

To reveal their darkness…

Longing

Your thought kindles in me,

the spasms of vitality,

and when my being becomes becomings,

that’s when I start to be.

These all abstract expressions,

might take birth,

as stars

in the night-sky of your remembrance.

And I hope one day,

the nakshatra of my being,

pours down incessant rain,

from the soaked petals of your eyes.

Maya

My own perception,
comes in the way,
of my own realization.

I paint the universe,
with my myriad colours...
and take pleasure
in their extravagance.
When will I shine
in the complete brightness
of the cosmos....in its
ultimate transparent purity.,
without any hues
of a sensual feel...
Whole whiteness of an
undefined light.

When will all my colours
unite to be one?

Fulfillment

in the footnotes of my existence,

some unutterings,

clasped to my chest,

I weave in the distant image,

of the forgotten galaxies,

of my sighs and afterthoughts.

one unashamed tear flows,

as the remnant of my remembrance,

the earning of my lifetime,

entombed,

in one spherical profundity.

the porous crust of my being,

becomes one speck of creation,

the unexpressed takes birth in me,

and with the sublimity of my meaning,

I forthcome in generations…

Whiff of a poem

The spirit of my evening poem

is this drought,

in the ocean's womb.

like a moment's lie,

on the face of eternity.

My flaunted spontaneity,

of the sky's stolen poetry...

A freedom,

handcuffed in the senses.

the anomaly of perfection.

and the throb that begins,

just as the life ends.

With the shy reluctance

of the first flower-petal,

that smears its virginity

in the roots of my verse...

And a poem that begins,

after the last fulstop.

Eyes

As I gaze into your eyes,
I delve into your being.
Travel in your overwhelming vastness,
in hidden spaces,
of unuttered words,
and in your inconsequential moments.
Moments that just.........are.

I completely inhale
all your becomings.
And wonderfully,
unknown to me,
as I come out,
I slide away, softly
in one drop of tear, from your eyes.
a drop of fulfilment.
a drop of your own realization
of my immersion in you.

Teardrop

Moments come and go,

Leaving their footprints upon my path.

The ambience that surrounds,

Completes me.

A tear-drop of my being

gathers in my eye.

I try to hide it,

but it reveals me.

2 April 08